How to Stop Worrying

Just having children certainly gives a parent plenty to worry about. It’s a natural part of parenting to worry for a child’s health and safety. But like any other emotion, worrying begins to gain a power of its own. Worry can be controlled, though, and focused in a positive direction.

Worrying is the heart of all anxiety. But not all worrying is necessarily bad. Mild worrying may actually help in problem-solving. By employing constructive reflection, which may look like worrying, a solution to a problem may appear. Out of control worrying is what then may trigger anxiety. When fear triggers processing in the emotional part of the brain, the mind is forced to focus on how to handle the problem. Many times the brain may obsess on how to view and handle a problem, which intensifies the worrying and, hence, the anxiety. In his book, “Emotional Intelligence,” author Daniel Goleman points out that worry is, in a sense, a rehearsal of what might go wrong and how to deal with it. Productive worrying comes up with positive solutions to life’s challenges, while destructive worrying causes an “emotional hijacking” and tends to paralyze the problem-solving process.

Out of control worrying is repetitive and recycles on and on, without getting any nearer to a solution to the problem. Part of the emotional hijacking is that the worries seem to come from nowhere, generate increasing anxiety, are impervious to reason, and lock the worrier into a single, inflexible view of the problem being worried about. This level of worry can lead to full-blown anxiety disorders, phobias, obsessions, compulsions and panic attacks, although worry looks different in each of these disorders. But in all of these conditions, worry has run amok.

Penn State researcher Thomas Borkovec and his colleagues have done extensive research on anxiety and worry. Borkovec discovered through his studies that anxiety, as it turns out, comes in two forms: cognitive, or worrisome thoughts, and somatic, the physiological symptoms of anxiety, such as sweating, a racing heart, or muscle tension. The two are very different. Most insomniacs, for instance, suffer from cognitive anxiety. Amazingly, though, there are residual benefits of worrying, like cognitive anxiety may soothe the potential accompanying somatic reactions.

During his research, Borkovec found that worrying can be identified and controlled. There are three (3) steps to help even the most chronic worriers control their habit.

1. The first step is self-awareness. Being able to catch the worrisome reaction to a situation as early as possible is important. Understanding what may be happening soon after thoughts trigger the worry-anxiety cycle, is vital to controlling the thoughts before they begin to gain power. Monitor personal cues for worry, especially identifying situations or thoughts that trigger worry. With practice, people can identify worries at an earlier and earlier point in the out of control cycle.

2. Next is find relaxation techniques. Applying relaxation methods at the moment that worry begins, will help slow down the anxiety spiral. Practicing the relaxation method daily will help it feel more natural and effective, and will enable it to be called upon when needed most.

3. The final step is to actively challenge the worrisome thoughts. Take a critical stance toward the worry assumptions that are triggering the anxiety. Is it probable the dreaded event will occur? Is it really the case that there is only one answer or no answer at all to a particular problem? Are there constructive steps to be taken? Is it helpful to have these same thoughts over and over again? Moving the thought process from the emotional part of the brain into the thinking part of the brain will halt the emotional hijacking.

These three strategies establish a train of mental control that is incompatible with worry. Renee learned what she needed to train her brain not to worry. The methods sometimes made her tired, but surely helped her get some more sleep.